We went to see a movie on last Friday. It was Safe House {no we did not go see Hunger Games. It was opening day and it was crazyyy}. On our scale of 1-10 {obv. 1=walk out/turn it off within 10 mins and 10=watch every single day, like the HP series} it made a 5. Prob wouldn't see it again, but it was kinda entertaining. But what made it alright was that we went to one of those awesome theaters where you can order legitimate foods and drinks during the movie from waiters. It was our first time to try one of these theaters out. We get there and walk into our theater and... we were the only ones in it! Complete relaxation with the waiter all to ourselves. They usually have this "once the previews start NO MORE TALKING! and write on the card what you want" type of deal {all caps were a must for that because we got there only 1o minutes before it started and we saw a NO TALKING preview about 100 times. They are serious. There was the funniest movie theather commercial about it too. All we remember was that there were dancing food items playing hardcore metal music singing a song that said "we'll kick your ass out if you talk..." so yah, they are serious about the no talking} The food was alright. Layne got a pizza and Kyle got a pulled pork sandwich. But the beer was great. From now on, we are only going to get drinks and a movie instead of paying a lot for food we can find in the freezer section.
So this theater was attached to a mall, so afterwards we walked around the mall to check it out {for Tulsans, we'd compare this mall to Eastland mall}. Now it was 6:15pm when we got out. And it was like a ghost land. We went into Dillards and they closed at 7, so needless to say things seemed a bit off. I mean, closing at 7 pm. On a Friday night. I mean, this place should be hopping with middle-school horn-dogs trying to get their pre-pubescent mack on. But apparently this mall is not a hot spot for normal Friday activities and Dillard's was the same way. Guess they were having some sort of apocalyptic sale because for starters, everything was at least 65% off.
Know what you're thinking. "Awesome--I could spend so much money! I need a new pastel yellow Polo hat for Easter."
We almost thought the same thing. But then we took a gander around and it was ridiculous. There are really no words to describe, but we'll do our best. Imagine a department store from I Am Legend, then fill it with a few workers and some random sketch looking customers. The ambience: dimly lit, unusually muggy for a mall, faint aroma of nursing home. We felt like we should be watching out for zombies coming around the corner. And, it was just a weird feeling. There was a lot of stuff, and it was all on the racks, but things were so...unorganized. Layne was stressin', no doubt.
For instance. On one circular rack there were clothes for a skinny teenage girl to a grandma looking for her cotton nighty. There was no hope to find good stuff for Layne. Kyle then thought, hey maybe we can find some discount men's shoes. Tough luck, homeboy. Unless, that is you are really trying to bring back the Birkenstock clogs from 1998. On sale for like $60, just waiting for you. No rush though, they had like 56 pairs in each size. Hot item, right there. Kyle did try them on to reminisce his old ones and they made his feet look even bigger {possible?}. The toe box is so wide you could make a sandwich on it. For real though, it would have been hard to find anything good. Oh sure, we were up for taking time to check it all out since we had nothing to do, but remember that we were in bizarro Dillard's and we only had 45 minutes. And the first 15 of those 45 were spent trying to get our heads wrapped around this mess of a department store.
We left. Bought nothing. Will not return.
